Is Self-Care Selfish?
Have you ever heard the phrase, “you can’t pour out of an empty cup?” Yeah, me too. But what does that even mean, and how can you expect to have time for “self-care” among everything else clamoring for your attention? Is it a bad thing to make time for yourself?
Our society thrives on busyness and productivity. We constantly run to and fro, working our “day jobs”, fulfilling commitments in our communities, taking kids here or there, and trying desperately to keep up some semblance of connection with family and friends all while trying to maintain our sanity. We live in a state of constant stimulation, and are bombarded with never-ending messages about how our attempts to be enough and to do enough are, well, never quite enough. The bar is always just out of reach. And our tanks are constantly running on empty unless we’re intentional to keep it from getting to that point! In a culture that always requires more of us, what are we to do?
As paradoxical as it sounds, arguably the most important thing we can do is take care of ourselves! But how is that even possible, when sometimes throughout the course of a day, we forget to do basic things like eat, drink water, or even use the bathroom? And wait…isn’t taking time to focus on yourself actually a selfish thing to do? On the contrary, self-care is an act of self-preservation, not selfishness! For the sake of our mental health and well-being, we need to do things that fill us up so that we can have the ability to handle not only our responsibilities in life, but also change and stress! If we don’t, we find ourselves in a state of low motivation, anxiety, burnout, or even depression. But where do we even start? Here are three ideas for discovering and prioritizing your own self-care.
- Create a list of what might refresh you and help you recharge. This list is unique to you and your interests! It can be helpful to have options to choose from when you create time for yourself rather than trying to come up with a self-care activity on the fly. You don’t even have to be sure that the things on your list will work–you can experiment and discover what helps you! Be sure to include self-care exercises that vary in the length of time you will need to commit.
- Engage in a minimum of one self-care activity per day. If you only feel like you have 30 seconds in your day, use them! Close your eyes, take some deep breaths, look at a picture of a loved one, smile, or do anything else that does not take much of your time. If you have more time in your day, consider doing something more involved such as taking a bath, exercising, or engaging in a creative outlet.
- Reframe your thoughts, and remind yourself of what is of the utmost importance. We make time for the things in life that are the most important to us! If you find yourself at an absolute loss for time to engage in self-care, expand your awareness of what you fill your time with. Do you really need to check social media for the umpteenth time today? Can that work email that came through on a Saturday wait until Monday? Consider slowing down. Sometimes, we need to remind ourselves that certain things can wait so that we can make time for what is truly important.
Self-care is exactly what it sounds like: taking care of ourselves. It looks different for everyone; what fills you up might be draining to someone else. Increasing your awareness of what recharges you can give you the power to choose to create the space for those things, or not. The amazing thing about self-care is that it can take as little or as much time as you are willing to give it! Whether you take just a few moments to smell the roses, a couple of hours to go to the movies, or you book a weekend retreat, choosing to preserve and promote your own mental health is one of the healthiest decisions you can make for yourself!
